Wednesday, January 8, 2014

How do I...

As part of my New Years Resolution, I want to step out of my little box. I want to appreciate what we have. Not in the financial aspect, although that would be great too. To completely accept that Evan and I are the ones that need to change, Aaden and Brady are who they are. I want to pinpoint why it is God gave Autism to us. What is he trying to teach us about ourselves?

Appreciating that we only deal with Autism. That we aren't at St. Jude's fighting for my baby's lives. That we don't require surgery after surgery to keep them alive. Thankful they are still alive, and we didn't lose them to SIDS like so many other families have lost their babes. I am grateful and blessed.

I am going to find a dr and get tested for ADD- I have taken several online tests, and have landed in the severe adult ADD category. You know what? That is FINE with me!!! Maybe I can finally concentrate and stay up until midnight reading and researching Aaden's disability. Learning new ways to help him, because right now, I read a whole page and remember NONE of it. Kind of kills my desire to keep on going. So I have become this lazy mom with a son who needs help but mom can't read. That is not me. That is not who I want to be.  And maybe then, my blogs won't be all over the place, eh? lol

I think every parent has questions about how to handle this, or how to handle that… I sit here today wondering how I explain something to Aaden. When he gets really upset, as he is now, he often completely shuts down his motor abilities, that includes walking, standing, sitting. Everything. He will just lay on the floor and scream. We know his vocal chords work. That KILLS me. I absolutely hate that he does it. Not so much because he is upset either, because every kid, disability or not, is going to get upset about something, some kids- mine- take things to the next level. I get upset because he CAN do these things and I am thankful we 'only' deal with Autism. I have made friends with a sweet woman, who's son was told he may never walk… & now he does!!!! Praise Jesus. 

How do I explain to Aaden that he CAN walk- and there are other people in and around the world that cannot? He doesn't believe me. Or either he just doesn't want to listen. It's probably a little of both. I reallllly would love for him to understand how fortunate he is. He has the ability. 

We have Aaden's follow up ARD meeting next week. We will be adjusting his goals and adding a parent partner. Parent Partner will come in our home and show us ways to assist Aaden. I'm sure he will be an angel the first couple times they are here. Which is fine. Less crying I have to hear for a few days. lol- sad but true. I wish company could live with us--- then there wouldn't be constant screams all the time. Ahh Anywho- I can barely wait to meet who will be working with us. 

This has been the first blog from my new MacBook. Whoop Whoops. Thanks sweet hubby. ;)

Until next time.

With love,
Courtney :)

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