Friday, January 25, 2013

These days...

These days, things are different. Period. Things are changing, for the worse. By things, I mean- people in charge  to how much groceries cost. As I sit and think about my little men, living in this crazy world, I can't help but to ponder on how much different the US will be for them, just getting married, and starting a family, how much worse could it be? All I can do is pray we will all be celebrating our lives with the ones we love most, and the ones we have missed- with The Lord.

On that subject, we cry and mourn the loss of loved ones, but aren't you happy they aren't here on Earth dealing with the harshness of the world? I know I am. I am beyond ready to see my sweet Momma again, I am happy she isn't dealing with the 2% tax increase EVERYONE received on their salary, that probably wasn't increased from the past few years... Or that her health care isn't trying to be taken over by the government. I rejoice knowing she was never terminally ill, fighting for her life, or ever had to suffer.

Then, on a lighter note, I have had quite a few encounters, with strangers, on Aaden's behavior. If I can try to make this clear, and not sound judgemental, I hope to save other mom's, like myself, the heart ache. I'll share one of the stories...

Many of the people who follow my blog know what we go through with Aaden. So I won't back track. For the past 2 weeks, he has been 100% medicine free. Which means the whole universe to me. Now, don't get me wrong. He is a lot to handle off the meds, but he was still upset, and angry while taking them, so why put those chemicals into this body??  Now, his 'tantrams', as they are addressed now days, have a longer duration, are a lot stronger, and it is almost impossible to calm him down.

While I was in Target, Aaden started screaming, b/c yes, he is spoiled, and he wanted a toy,  he was told no. On the next isle, I heard a couple talking, amongst themselves, about how, when they decide to have children, they hope their child doesn't scream, like Aaden. Well much to their surprise, and mine. And probably against my better judgement. My southern gal personality came out. I walked to the isle, A screaming behind me, and told them. "You're right, I pray no child has to suffer from a disorder like my child has. But I do hope you teach your children better manners, than what you have." I can honestly say, I have no idea if they responded. My blood pressure was up so high, I had too much steam coming out my ears to hear anything. Then, I cried. I found myself on an isle that wasn't busy, and we just sat there crying, with Aaden, who was also, still crying...

Now, this broke me today. I have decided, thanks to Evan, not to let these people steal my joy- they are not worth it. When Aaden is happy, he is amazingly happy, and lights up my whole day. I rejoice in those moments, I feel in moments when he is the worlds happiest child, maybe his head isn't hurting, maybe his heart isn't aching for fulfillment over something he doesn't know how to control, or communicate to me.

Recently, a blog of a good friend to my cousin was shared, Growing a Violet . I urge you to read this. I know I have reacted this way, in a non harmful sense. This is just a small reminder of, you never know what someone else is going thru until you walk a mile in their shoes. I know I have said this before.  But it is a statement I, personally, think about often.

To rejoice, in some good news. Per my previous blog, Aaden's evaluation... it was determined, by the group of people, who did the eval., that Aaden would not qualify for services, because he does have the ability to learn. Which is something everyone already knew. His evaluation made it to the school he would be attending, and there, was read by the school's psychologist, one of the early ed teachers, and vice principal. As necessary, per school board, I had to attend a meeting, with them. Just to go over the 12 page report from the evaluation. I was expecting to be told blah blah blah, he doesn't qualify. I was wrong. The psychologist pulled my interview questions, from the first time I spoke to the program. She said on paper, just from the eval, Aaden looked like he was an above average child, and she was curious why 'mom' quested help. I am so happy she did. She said she felt a huge gap between what I said, and what the evaluation, of 4 hours determined. After she read what I said, and looked back at the eval, she saw the troubles, he wasn't able to complete any of the assessments, such as a speech pathology report, or an IQ test. <these were all very age appropirate, he just wasn't interested> Now, I have a list of things to get ready for the school board, but they didn't just give up on Aaden. They want to help me. They don't want to push meds down this throat. THEY WANT TO HELP US!!!! Someone, who finally understand, a group of adults, who are ready and waiting to help. FINALLY!!!!!! There were a lot of things I can share from the meeting, but honestly, they wouldn't make sense to many people, but made perfect sense to me. That is what the problem is with Aaden, none of his issues are a 'textbook diagnosis'. And he doesn't need a label. We just need help, and we are finally getting it. PRAISE. THE. LORD.

One thing they would like to have is an EEG. Just to be sure we aren't dealing with any tumors, etc.

I know this post started out dark, and on a different subject, but my little heart has been all over the place today, so I figured, yours did too ;) you're welcome.

Please continue to pray for my family. It is very much needed, and appreciated.

Until next time...

With love,
Courtney ;)