Nonstop

Have you ever just felt completely worn down, and your 'to-do' list keeps getting larger and most extensive?

That's me, right now. 

We decided to move, still in San Antonio, and actually- still in the same neighborhood we are in now. We are downsizing this monster size house we originally moved into. So joy! Seriously, no more cleaning a 3200 sq ft house, or having to go up and down the stairs 50 times because Aaden is scared, lower payments including all our utilities. Can't beat saving money. Sarcastic yay- because moving bites. A big one. Especially when Evan will probably be working, and we will have to move late at night for a few days.

Although we don't move until July 22, I feel as if there is so much to get done. Since we are downsizing, and we currently have our 4 BR plus loft house filled- I'm nervous to fit everything into a smaller house. My purchases for this house have been things I've wanted FORever- and I LOVE, or I recreated. Such as my $10 Craigslist table... 

I think it turned out fairly well- and I adore it. I have to find a place for it!! Then, there's me being a weirdo OCD freak, I don't like the boys having toys in their room, I have no idea why, there really isn't any logic behind it- it's just not my preference. Well we don't have an extra room in the new house. So, since they don't really play with a lot of their toys- they will be donated. We enjoy coloring and cooking projects. Luckily- there is TONS of extra cabinet and pantry space at the new place. 

In better news, Aaden has been expressing his feelings a lot better! Or actually at all! Although he is flat out blunt as can be, and has zero filter. Most things are funny- but figuring out how to correct him when he says the ugly things, without hindering the prospect of him continuing this new thing, is tough. 

BB has been a complete chatterbox. If you know Brady, you know he speaks his own little language, as my FIL named it, BBneise. He has been doing much better! He does still have a lot of gibberish when he gets excited, but if you ask him to repeat it, you get the same exact response. He is such a little ham!! 

We have also added a new family member- 

Meet Brutus 

Brutus is a 2 year old English Bulldog. Aaden loves that we own his school mascot! He tells everyone. We re-homed Brutus from a husband/wife who are in the service, and didn't have time for him. You can tell he was so out of shape, we took him on his first walk, and half way around the block, we had to make Aaden walk, and put the dog in the stroller. Yes, you read that correctly. Haha. We have enjoyed him- he is perfect. He's big enough where the boys can't pick him up and throw him, but not too big so he's knocking them over and whatnot. 

In other news, my Mawmaw, my dads mom, was diagnosed with Lupus. She received her blood work results yesterday, and it has not affected her organs. So that is positive news. I just ask you to lift her up in prayer to stay positive and make any changes to their current lifestyle super smooth.

Until next time...

Doubting

I'll just get right to the point. I have been struggling lately.

Doubting yourself as a parent- well it sucks. When you have a child that you just don't understand, you can't 'explain' him to a dr, because honestly, he reacts different to every single situation, is hard. It makes you feel like you don't know your baby.... Which is even more difficult to fathom. 

From the day we started struggling with Aaden, I have always told myself, 'Choose your battles wisely'.  Sometimes that is impossible. Mainly because, when Aaden is in a good mood and happy, he is 'normal', therefore you think disciplining him should be 'normal'. 

Is there a normal? A normal child, a normal way to discipline? I have no idea. 

Our normal is chaotic, our normal is hard. 

Trying to stay consistent, with a child who isn't... Just doesn't happen. Aaden is doing better, much much better. He is doing well in school. His teacher just bragged about how sweet he is and how well he plays with the other children. He is also doing very well in his sensory integration therapy. Every Tuesday and Thursday when I pick him up, they say 'He had a good day.'  Then we walk away from school or therapy and he hangs his head down to the ground. 

What am I doing so wrong?? Maybe counseling is our next step. 

With that being said- Brady Bear is TWO, y'all. Lets just say, definitely terrible two as well. I often wonder if the reason he acts out is because Aaden needs more attention.... Or is this something that started 2 years ago when he was born. He was always so easy, that we didn't really have to discipline him. Now, it's definitely caught up to us. He still plays well by himself, and he is still a good, sweet little boy. Sometimes I feel as if he is acting out for attention, and that just breaks my heart. I hate that Brady is struggling because of the issues we have with Aaden. But, making adjustments is whats needed to help our family function at a more mellow pace.

Anytime we are asked how close in age the boys are, the first thing that pops in my head is, "God knew if he didn't surprise us with Brady, he probably wouldn't have happened" haha. In all honesty, I am so thankful for his crazy little self- I can be down about something, turn to look at BB- and he is making a goofy face, to himself. Or swinging his head back and forth 'dancing'. He takes after me, no rhythm :/ poor kiddo.

So back to the 'choosing your battles wisely'. I question myself everyday with 'Should I have corrected him this way, or that way', 'Should I have let that go?'. It is so hard to think about your child being Out of Sync (which has been an amazing book, by the way).  With an Aspergers diagnosis, no child fits all points of the syndrome, Aaden is most of them- of course some more than others. But reading about Aspergers is just as hard as living with a child with Aspergers. Nothing is 100%, you could do it this way, or that way. It is so hard for me to comprehend! Maybe I need to be tested for ADD, in all seriousness.

I just ask for you to pray for us, as a family, to figure out what to do next, and we learn to function as a family.

Until next time...